Not five months after that he proposed to me in my home. My husband & I have an 11-year age difference, I am 11 years younger than my husband. When I moved into the home him & his first wife built, I knew I made a mistake. All of her belongings were still in the home including there wedding picture was hanging in the family room. Her pictures and check stubs were in draws and her wedding dress was in one of the closets. When I finally popped I told him everything and he turned it around on me to say it was my fault for not saying something when I first noticed it.
“My wife appreciates that my first wife was part of what molded me into the person I am today.” And when you are ready, here are some great ways to meet fellow seniors. I was so terrified but my husband and I had talked of this and acknowledged with each other that the other one should have a companion.
I’m 38 and he’s 58, but says he wants to have children . I don’t have any, and I love the thought of it. So many articles and blogs are dedicated on HOW to date a widower or make it all about the widower. I haven’t found much on how to deal with MY feelings on dating a widower. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your article.
I met a gem, his wife had cancer for five years and died a year and a half ago. I am starting to loose interest because of these red flags. I had been in a 30 year marraige with a man who ended up being a transsexual. I think I am still bitter that he never was honest with me . With that being said I am very guarded with my heart. That created a great stir in me but what knocked me down few days later was his display pic with a collage of both of them..
I met him on a dating sight and we connected right away. It was 2 years after his wife passed and 2 years after my husband passed. He lived north Florida I lived south Florida. He would come down to visit with me and I would go and visit with him. His wife passed suddenly 2014, my husband was sick for a very long time and passed 2016. I let him grieve for a long time and he still does.
I gave up dating younger men when he came along. I loved his stability and his enthusiasm for life. I am a therapist and the people I’ve worked with didn’t take this long to let someone else love them. My wife always said I had a face of stone but a heart of gold. 24 years into our marriage, the Drs. informed us of her stage 4 cancer with maybe 6 months.
It is still too soon although over two years have lapsed. He says he has not sorted anything out yet – including feelings. I am great, beautiful bla bla but for now he is setting me free.
What we described above are just the issues a widowed man has to deal with upon losing his wife. Whatever his level of involvement in these matters might have been prior to his wife’s death, he now has to take care of it all by himself. But first, we need to understand what being a widower really means. If you’re thinking about whether to date a widower, you should pay special attention to how to do it right. When she finally allows herself to acknowledge her feelings for you, they will be strong and fierce.
Thank you SO much Dave, for your honest and heartfelt comment and advice. So often we go to the ‘men are jerks’ response when really it’s just that ‘men are people with fears and feelings and flaws.’ The woman who dumped you was smart. Too many women get that feeling but still go for it and get emotionally involved with a man who is confused and just not ready. I wanted to say Yes, he will occasionally mention her but if it is just a frame of reference for time, it is ok. Try to have an amicable relationship with his in-laws if they are still in the picture.
We were married for 10 years and have two kids. Recently a sweet guy started dating me. I told him I was not ready to commit but he was persistent that he was willing to wait. 5 days later I cut all communication with him, out of fear that I would never learn to love him like I love my late husband.
But there are nice people out there, and I think I may have found one. For a year I’ve been with someone who meets these standards, makes me laugh and https://thedatingpros.com/i-like-you-review/ is just nice to be around. She lost a child and very nearly died in the process, and that means she understands things that other people don’t.
(Still trying to wrap my head around the concept but it’s not unique to this site & was some relief to me to see it in print.) I am still my husband’s wife. I didn’t “opt out”, we did not divorce. Many people wear wedding rings for a long period.
I’ll admit occasionally I have the “what about me” feelings . But keeping communication open and letting him know I do love him and I don’t plan on going anywhere, has helped him tremendously. He is healing and learning to grieve in a healthy way .
